The Adventure Goes On Forever


The scientific paradigm and dominant materialist outlook keeps most people’s attention away from the greatest adventure there is to have while alive – the spiritual quest to self-realisation: to reach for higher love, holy light and mystical understanding in our time is still to be a rebel outside the acceptable, majority-led agreed reality.

Science and reason have improved the lot of humanity immeasurably, but they have not been able to liberate the species from certain base fears and prejudice. To grow up to be a gay/lesbian/trans/queer person in the early 21st century also still requires us to challenge and be challenged by the attitudes coming from the majority.

Queer or straight is ultimately irrelevant, we are all on a journey of self-discovery, although the mainstream consensus puts limits on that. I believe the time has come to hold hands as One and leap into the next stage of human life, into the possibilities of the 21st century. We are light, we are spirit, we are souls. We can release the fear of death and suffering, become attuned to the eternal part of our nature and evolve. Life will offer us opportunities, doorways into this, but we have to make the conscious choice for ourselves to open the door – the choice to overcome the fearful mind, to heal the hurts we have endured, and to become part of the unity of life.

However, Queer people, judged often for our partying, fashion obsessions, for our love of drugs and sex, are actually pre-programmed to be part of the urgently needed dimension-busting exploration of consciousness and the ultimate collective species wide shift to a new, compassionate and life-affirming paradigm. Queers care, about other people and about the planet and her creatures.. Most of us already consciously or not approach life with the attitude of live and let live, love and be loved, create and enjoy. We tend to feel everybody deserves these basic rights. Though sometimes criticised for shallowness and bitchiness, kindness is the more commonly expressed quality amongst us. Those of us who lived through the AIDS years saw the active, compassionate love of queer people close up. When the governments and churches were ignoring our plight, it was the LGBT community that stood up and took action, caring for the sick, building a stronger community and becoming much more politically motivated than we had been previous to the epidemic.

Nobody would have believed in the 1990s that many countries of the world would have legalised same sex marriage within twenty years. This is a sign of the power in our queer hearts and minds. The old stories about us need to go, it is time that the Queers of the world were truly recognised for the good spirit, love, joy, healing, creativity, passion, colour, compassion and intelligence we bring to the human family.

The visible, collective presence of queer people, united in the cause of the human right to love, has already changed the world fundamentally. We are pioneers and freedom fighters. We know that nobody is free until everybody is free. There is much more for us to do.

Every gay kid deserves to know that the shamanic healers of the tribal peoples of the whole planet were often the genderbenders – and that these shamans are our ancestors. They did not build churches and create religions, they explored the natural connection to the non-physical, spirit realms of creation that they were born with, and used that special power to serve the wider community. We do not have to deny spirit because we are gay or queer, nor do we have to exist uncomfortably in archaic religious institutions – the inheritance of the shamanic peoples of planet earth is ours to receive and explore, in our own spaces, in our own ways. This is the kind of intelligent awareness that gay life needs NOW.

For those shamans are here again. REBORN IN US. Waiting for us to liberate their power.

Coming out Spiritually will be the Second Coming for the global LGBTQ+ community. We stood up for ourselves. fought for our rights and declared the goodness in our sexuality. Now as we get bolder and learn to think more boldly for ourselves on the spiritual level it becomes increasingly apparent to many of us that we do not have to belong to religious institutions to express our spirituality. We can be signs to the whole of humanity that a direct relationship with spirit can be ours to enjoy, that spirituality is about finding out who we are on the most fundamental level, then bringing that joy filled soul essence into life.

Queer people, only so recently finding emancipation in some parts of the world, we need to renew our relationship with spirit and nature as much as any other part of the human family. Cities have served us well as places to find each other, build strength in numbers and develop community, but cities are also where we can lose balance, where life spins out of control, where drugs destroy our gay dreams. Nature can restore us, as many radical faeries the world over will testify. In our nature sanctuaries we find healing, love, sister and brotherhood, we find spirit; we recharge and find out more about who we are, bringing this light and power back into the world, becoming the change…





Diagnosed HIV+ in 1990 when aged 25, and Long Term Survivor of AIDS, I have lived most of my life with a deadly virus in my body. I have thought long and hard about what a virus is on a metaphysical level, why it affects some people and not others, why it has different effects on people. Inspired by the likelihood of death looming over me in the 1990s I dived into spiritual study and practice in order to get a better, deeper understanding of life and soon came to respect the HIV virus as being a profound catalyst for my personal evolution.

Author and Healer Misa Hopkins is on this same wavelength when she writes, –

“Viruses grab hold when we abandon the self. In other words, they come in and hang out when we are not attending to our bodies’ health or our emotional and mental well-being. We check-out, so-to-speak, by not attending to ourselves, and the viruses check in.

“Viruses are able to gain entry when you are depleting yourself through stress, poor diet, and not enough oxygenation of your cells. You could think of it as creating an internal environment better suited to the viruses than to your health.

“The question you might want to ask yourself to access the metaphysical meaning behind a viral illness is, “What causes you to abandon yourself?”

“Now consider that abandonment occurs when you feel defeated in some way or are pushing yourself because you don’t feel worthy. You’ve abandoned your ability to create a balanced, happy life, because somewhere deep inside, you don’t believe that is possible.”

I believe HIV/AIDS could take hold in my body because I was not feeling worthy, I was not pushing myself, I had no goals or direction, life was meaningless for me. But the journey I took with it opened my mind to a much vaster reality than my upbringing and fancy education had ever hinted at. My physical healing came through medication, but my soul healed at the same time, was born again with a brand new outlook and a firm intention to find healing, create well-being and BE LOVE in the world.

From my awakening in 1995 I have spent a quarter of a century attuning myself to Creation and well-being by studying and following the Celtic Pagan Wheel of the Year and the Lunar cycles, each year becoming more aware of the dance our souls are undertaking with nature and the cosmos. I have gone deeply into the interplay of the elemental forces in us as body-mind-emotion-spirit, and now experience them as constantly engaged with each other. Nothing exists on one plane only, a physical sickness is always directly related to what is going on in our mental and emotional levels. So how a virus affects us will depend on what needs healing, what needs addressing, in our lives. A virus, any illness, manifesting in the body can be a gateway to healing our psychological and emotional wounds and issues. For one thing, illness brings us very much into the present moment where healing can happen – often it is the over stretch going on within us (with mind too focussed on past or future, triggering emotions constantly as it does so, which eventually overstress the body) that weakens the immune system and lets illness in. This applies to all ailments from common colds to cancer. Ultimately all dis-ease comes from our belief in disconnection from Source, and the fear that generates. The whole point of spiritual or religious practice is to boost our faith in Source by giving us time in its embrace, feeling its presence within us and within our chosen community. For some of us, a virus comes to offer a ticket home, a quick way out of a life that, on a soul level we have chosen to end.

Many people in the modern world who have rejected religion find substitutes for it which give them an experience of heightened joy, pleasure, tribe, but they may not be getting enough inner strength of bliss-love and firm faith from their activities to be able to gracefully handle life’s challenges and existential crises, which is what spiritual practice and understanding hopefully gives us. In which case we humans, with an almighty survival instinct, generally push harder and search deeper. In the end we have the chance to understand that we are here on Earth to grow in the soul – it is the sum total of our personal achievements on all levels – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual – that will count in the end, when we are leaving the body and giving ourselves our own life review, our own moment of judgement, which so likely leads to us saying “oh yeah, now I remember….. let’s go back and try harder….”

The two major Abrahamic religions, Christianity and Islam, deny the reality of reincarnation, but looking back at history we see this denial has more political than spiritual roots. Reincarnation was taken off the Christian agenda at a church council, called by the Roman Emperor Justinian in opposition to the wishes of the Pope (whom the emperor held prisoner at the time), in Constantinople in 553 AD, It did not serve the interests of the political state to have the populace believing in the transmigration of the soul (and in the 21st century it still doesn’t), nor at the time the political manoeuvrings of Theodora, wife of Emperor Justinian who had her sights on deification after death.

Other religions of the world often take reincarnation as a given. When challenged on this by scientist Carl Sagan, the Dalai Lama replied,“If science can disprove reincarnation, Tibetan Buddhism would abandon reincarnation… but it’s going to be mighty hard to disprove reincarnation.”

The mythologies of the ancient Middle East and the Greek and Roman empires reveal that the land of the dead was viewed with some trepidation, in sharp contrast to the deeply ancient rooted Celtic culture of northern and central Europe. The ancient Sumerians believed in the Dark House of Death, and the mythology around their great Goddess Inanna involves her fateful visit to it. Greeks saw the Underworld as a fearsome place of darkness and silence, gloom and desolation, the Romans feared it was even worse.

Classical writers such as Posidonius recorded that the Celts held that “the souls of men are immortal, and that after a definite numbers of years they live a second life when the soul passes to another body”. Strabo wrote that the Druids believed that “men’s souls and the universe are indestructible, although at times fire and water may prevail.” (Yes the Druids foresaw climate change). Julius Caesar tells us of their belief that “souls do not suffer death, but after death pass from the one to the other”, which underpinned the Celtic warriors absolute lack of fear in battle.

Considering the bleak view of the afterlife that the Romans adopted, Christianity, with its promise of salvation and heaven, must have shone like a beacon of hope. But by removing reincarnation from its teachings, the religion made entry into heaven reliant on obeying the rules set down by its Church, condemning those it regarded as sinners to a nightmare hell.

The modern ‘faith’, science, removes the spirit world all together from the picture, and instead of judgement after death sending us to heaven or hell, we are told nothing awaits us but an obliteration of our very essence of being. In the ‘rational’ scientific age, we are still being mind-controlled, discouraged from seeking our own answers and manipulated into serving and upholding the status quo of the current politico-economic system.

Yet surveys show over and over that a third or more of people of the western world do accept reincarnation as a fact, and consistently this is the case whether people have a religious belief or not. The soul in us knows that we come here to grow – and maybe eventually reach the point of realisation of our own divinity. This is more than a one-lifetime experience we are involved in.

Shokti at Beltane 2013

There are many voices in the world today telling their tales of awakening, healing and growth through health crises. I am one of those people and this has been my tale.

HIV pushed me to drop my materialistic, atheistic beliefs about existence and explore mystical teachings. As I came closer to death (with Mary, Mungo and Midge, the names I gave my 3 t-cells at the lowest point in ’97) I surrendered my thoughts, my beliefs, my pain to the conscious universe and began a conversation with it that has never stopped since. I believe a combination of human and spiritual love alongside a positive mindset kept me alive until effective medication arrived to help, and I emerged from AIDS as a healer with a sense of purpose and a trust in the divine plan at work in the universe.

HIV affected certain groups in society more than others, and of course not everybody who lived with AIDS experienced the kind of apotheosis I am speaking of. Those of us who managed to find a state of transcendence over the darkness of our condition achieved it perhaps because we came to understand that we are all always creating our own experience of life in every moment, through our beliefs, thoughts and desires, but usually unconsciously, and too often swayed and battered by own emotional wounds and mental anxiety. I think we AIDS Survivors accepted that we had brought ourselves to this point of challenge and transformation, not blaming others for it and dropping any sense of being the ‘victim’. And we didn’t give up, we kept seeking answers, light, love.

Gay writer Mark Thompson in the 1990s described AIDS as a ‘training ground for the apocalypse’.

COVID-19 is a virus that affects every sector of society, nobody is excluded this time. Many people will find themselves contemplating death, either because confronted with or from the spread of fear about it. Despite the upheavals and inconveniences we are all experiencing now the mystic in me is excited to see the opportunity being offered to the whole world to break through the veils of illusion that keep us believing we are separate beings in a principally material universe. It is in fact the fear of death that often keeps our souls locked down and limited in their expression and experiences.

I dropped the belief in separation and allowed my own soul to reveal to me the unity and interdependence of all existence, the eternity of the soul and some insight into the changes coming to the world. It is only the human mind that keeps us firmly locked into the experience, the illusion, of individuality. It is designed to do that, so that consciousness – spirit – can explore itself through each of us. Humans love to use alcohol, drugs and sacred medicines because they all alter this sense of separation, they give us a taste of the deeper connected state, but only shifting the way we think can enable us to always be aware of and in tune with it

When we cease to identify with the stories and fears that our ego develops in order to maintain its apparent integrity, and shift instead to seeing the world with the eyes of the soul, life becomes a sacred dance, in which the fear of death changes into celebration of eternal life lived in the here and now, and disease becomes a teacher, a message from the soul, that we are in some way out of balance.

If we come to see existence as a unity, then we can no longer regard a virus as something separate to us. If all Creation is a dance of and within the Divine Mind then the virus, which exists somewhere in the liminal state between life and death (for it has no independent reality at all, it depends on living entities for its own existence), is a parcel of divine consciousness with its own part to the play in the bigger picture of the evolution of life on this planet. A virus brings different life lessons to different people, it can be seen as a messenger with both personal and collective insights to share. HIV brought some deep lessons to the LGBT community and to the other groups deeply affected. COVID-19 affects everybody and has come at a time when climate change threatens our entire global civilisation, and has important lessons to teach.

I wrote some years ago while deep in the transformational AIDS cocoon …..
















This applies as much to COVID-19 as it does to HIV, Cancer or any healing crisis.

As the great healer Deepak Chopra has been teaching for some decades –

Spiritual well-being is alien to many people’s daily lives, and with the decline of organized religion, millions of people experience a sick soul, however you want to define it — weariness of heart, existential dread, a sinking feeling that nothing really matters — without finding a way out.

“Don’t spend more than a few minutes diagnosing these feelings; everyone is experiencing them.” Says Deepak

He recommends:

  • Having a sense of meaning and purpose.
  • Loving and being loved.
  • Self-esteem, a sense of your own worth.
  • Tapping into inner peace and joy.
  • Being of service to others.
  • Generosity of spirit.

This has been the story of my ACCELERATED INDIVIDUAL DISCOVERY OF SELF and what I have been doing with that discovery:


May All Beings In All The Worlds Be Happy And At Peace


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